within the space of 30 mins I was tailgated & flashed by some twunt who was apoplectic with rage, shouting and waving his fist at me for no other reason I could fathom other than I was in front of him. the fella was easily in his late 50's early 60's and should know better.
next up, a twunt who tried to overtake me as I was pulling away from some traffic lights and who had to abort when he noticed that there was a bollard in his way, only about 30 foot ahead so not quite impossible to see from where he started his manoeuvre - twunt
You all trying to kill meHad a tanker on the last couple of days. So far... Tuesday. M60 Eastbound where the lanes narrow. Silly unpleasant woman in Metro in...
both drivers were driving BMWs and it is because of this I hereby announce the formation of the CFFBD
*Campaign to Further Frustrate BMW Drivers*
rule no. 1 - never let a BMW driver in or out, ever.
rule no. 2 - as soon as you see a BMW in your rear view mirror you must drift as close to the dividing line as is safe to do so and slow to 10 mph below the posted speed limit. getting eye contact in your wing or door mirror is desirable, as is flashing them a big grin.
rule no. 3 - when the BMW driver does overtake and they do glare at you you must throw back your head and laugh like you just heard the worlds funniest joke for the first time and it involves their mum, a goat herd and a courgette.
rule no. 4 - when at traffic lights with a BMW behind you you must always act like you are surprised that the lights have changed and, in the style of a ninety year old woman, only begin to move off when the green light has been on for 2 (count em) whole seconds.
rule no. 5 - when confronted with a BMW driver out of their cars you must point and laugh at their car, wiggle your little finger at them and laugh some more.
free car stickers will be produced which will read
"it's because you drive a BMW"
and are to be applied to your rear windscreen, bottom right where the BMW driver will be most likely to see it as they wait behind you at 10mph below the posted speed limit or as they are forced to crawl away from the lights, behind you.
if everyone follows the rules their badly driven, overpriced willy replacements will depreciate faster and the arse will fall out of the market. then we can all go banger racing in BMWs
