OT Lawyers Why Do People Hate Them 3501

Motorhead Lawyer

Hundreds upon hundreds. One was a former Penthouse centerfold. No, she wasn't ugly. :)

The old joke is that 98% of the lawyers are who ruin it for the other 2%. And that's not far off the mark, if you listen to Justice Douglas. As Professor Dershowitz put it, any group that has received a reputation like that has done something to deserve it; in his book on the stolen 2000 election, he offers us an insight into why:

It is widely known that many state court judges and some lower court judges play favorites among litigants and lawyers. Roy Cohn once famously quipped, ÒI donÕt care if my opponent knows the law, as long as I know the judge.Ó In the old days, it was financial corruption -- cash changed hands. Then it became the Òfavor bank,Ó in which personal favors are quietly stored and exchanged. I have seen it with my own eyes in the courts of Boston, New York, and elsewhere.

If Dershowitz had Ôseen it with his own eyesÕ, he had an affirmative obligation to report it. But he didnÕt, and didnÕt even have the courage to name names. If an attorney with the stature of a Dershowitz can even be cowed into silence by the fear of retribution, the average barrister canÕt hope to survive retaliation by the judgesÕ guild. Just ask Doris Sbuttower. Barb Johnson. Or, Colorado county judge Robert Haeger (who saw his Òjob approvalÓ rating mysteriously plummet after it became known that he informed the FBI about alleged sugar use by fellow judges).

Judges don't like being second-guessed, even by other judges. The entire courtroom procedure -- from the "respectfully submitted" documents to the elevated bench -- is designed to foster an illusion of infallibility. Furthermore, it is constantly fed by that legion of craven invertebrated called lawyers who, as a species, have abandoned principled advocacy in favor of shameful servitude. And when you treat someone as though he is omniscient for long enough, he might begin to believe his own press clippings. Professor Carl Bogus wryly observes:

Some people are more vulnerable to a lack of criticism than others, and among the most vulnerable are judges. ... Saying that lawyers treat the judges with deference failes to capture the interaction; it is more accurate to say that lawyers bow and scrape. Some lawyers have elevated fawning to an art form, pulling it off with subtle elegance. But few tell a judge she is wrong.

It is a culture of arrogance and privilege -- where judges are tempted to envision themselves as gods. The trials and tribulations of the common man are simply not their concern. Judging by the sainted Judge Richard PosnerÕs dazzling array of outside interests, he is simply too busy with being a lecturer, professor, author, and exploiting his notoriety to bother reading briefs.

Yeah, there's a lot of bad to say about lawyers, and it always comes down to one common trait: the lack of any semblance of a spine.

Nice to see that you're the "kept" man. ;)