Cuban Unemployment Development Department
Not a chance. I'm fighting for a place without lions, whether that's Castro or Bush. By the way, care for some juice...?
NOTE: When words are used to mislead, we need things real. And I couldn't think of anything better that our delicious national dishes. So were born the guarapo, arepa, jalapeno, banana revolutions... Anyway, what counts is not the name, but the content...
*guarapo: sugar-cane juice. I'll leave it up to your imagination why it's so important...
(see picture at link called "guarapo")
COMING SOON:
THE GUARAPO REVOLUTION (WITHOUT COCA-COLA, BUT WITH GUARAPO!) "FREEDOM MOVEMENT"
The following is an interview with our legendary guerrilla leader, Liborio, published by The New York Times on September 31:
Question: Mr. Liborio, what is this fuss about? Answer: Que dice el comemierda este? (What is this butthole saying?) (AN INTERPRETER IS RUSHED IN.) Q: What is this fuss about? A: This means that the only mistake made by Communism in Cuba was not to have eliminated Coca-Cola, but also to have taken away even guarapo. EVERYTHING IS RATIONED OR SCARCE IN CUBA --if at all available. Many people, all over the world, blame the external embargo for our humiliating condition, ignoring that it was the "Cuban Revolution" itself the one which took away everything ours. Q: What solution do you offer? A: We offer the best of what we had back in 1492. Q: You wouldn't be referring to nudism and all that, do you? A: I've never thought about that. But, on second thought, it wouldn't be a bad idea that our MULATAS could show the... poo! you make wander from the subject! Q: How can you defend guarapo when it has so many calories? A: I repeat what my grandma used to tell me: "Son, don't be a fool, what counts is not the calories, but 'how' to burn them." Q: What can be done inside the island? A: The "Guarapo Referendum": by writing "guarapo" or "G" on every wall.
Q: And what can be done outside? A: A humanitarian caravan to Cuba. We will take sugar cane, so as to break the internal blockade that the dictatorship imposes on the people. Q: And when we are free? A: A bottle of rum for every Cuban, to water the sorrows. And then we are going to throw the big party where we are going to mix guarapo and rum... Q: Any slogan? A: Yeah, SHAKE IT BABY! (If you don't, the sugar settles at the bottom.)
"The world is divided into two camps: all who abhor freedom, because they only want it for themselves, are in one; those who love freedom, and want it for all, are in another" -Jose Marti (1853-95)
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In preparation for the VICTORY PARTY, we are doing the following surveys so there's nothing missing:
GUARAPO SURVEY
Do you like it squeezed by hand or with the little machine?
You can eat my bananaDonkey Hotay is a Cuban Refuge! I quote this... MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR? "Make love, not war," was not just a protest against the indifference and lack of humaneness in Vietnam; it was...
By hand
With the little machine
Other methods (Explain please)
JALAPENO SURVEY
Do you like the Jalapeno green and small or big and red?
Green and small
Big and red
It doesn't matter so long as it is hot
AREPA SURVEY
Do you like the Arepa dry and cold or moist and hot?
I like it dry and cold
I like it moist and hot
