Instead of stopping NORMAL cars for speeding, cops should stop any SUVs going over 55mph. The piece of poo SUVs are a bigger danger due to their higher momentum, extended braking distances, and questionable handling characteristics at high speeds -- much like semis.
Man Dies in Fiery CrashThis incident caused a MAJOR traffic snarl during the morning rush yesterday. The Barranca overpbutt of the 5 freeway was completely closed with yellow police tape...
A few more changes I propose for the gluttonous SUV pigs:
- tax the hell out of SUVs. Add a 15% "insecure butthole" tax to anybody buying an SUV. What, you need it for hauling poo? It's called a van or a pickup truck, butthole. Need to go off-road? No you don't, unpleasant woman. - double the yearly registration fee for SUVs. - double the toll price for any SUV using a tollway. Hell, triple it. - double the parking fees everywhere for SUVs. It looks like some parking garages already have such a policy in place -- when my friend complained that a parking garage charged him extra for his Chevy Tahoe, I laughed in his face. - impose heavy fines on any company producing "Luxury SUVs". You can't have a vehicle that's both "luxury" and "utility," jackbutt. What next, Luxury Power Tools? Luxury Toilet Plunger? - immediately arrest and imprison any soccer moms who put those goddamn battering ram grills on the front of their SUVs.
Of course, we could tax the poo out of these silly SUV psychos and they'd still clutch their precious little pieces of poo because they don't dare to be seen in a normal car. Poor little image-conscious sheep.
Don't cry.
---Mack
