Undertaking on Motorway... 179

Conor

Luxury...

QUOTE: KIAHicks: My old dad used to say to me: "Money doesn't bring you happiness, son!" KIAPieman: He was right! KIAHicks: Right! KIAPieman: I was happier then and I had nothing! We used to live in this tiny old tumbled-down house with great big holes in the roof. Blacklight: House! You were lucky to live in a house! We used to live in one room, all twentysix of us, no furniture, half the floor was missing, we were all huddled together in one corner for fear of falling. Dr Gonzo: You were lucky to have a room! We used to have to live in the corridor! KIAHicks: Oh, we used to dream of living in a corridor! Would have been a palace to us! We used to live in an old watertank on a rubbish tip. We'd all woke up every morning by having a load of rotten fish dumped all over us! House, huh! KIAPieman: Well, when I say a house, it was just a hole in the ground, covered by a sheet of tarpaulin, but it was a house to us! Blacklight: We were evicted from our hole in the ground. We had to go and live in a lake! Dr Gonzo: You were lucky to have a lake! There were 150 of us living in a shoebox in the middle of the road! KIAHicks: A cardboard box? Dr Gonzo: Aye! KIAHicks: You were lucky! We lived for three months in a rolled-up newspaper in a septic tank! We used to have to get up every morning, at six o'clock and clean the newspaper, go to work down the mill, fourteen hours a day, week in, week out, for six pence a week, and when we got home, our dad would slash us to sleep with his belt! Blacklight: Luxury! We used to have to get up out of the lake at three o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of hot gravel, work twenty hours a day at mill, for two pence a month, come home, and dad would beat us around the head and neck with a broken bottle, if we were lucky! Dr Gonzo: Well, of course, we had it tough! We used to have to get up out of the shoebox in the middle of the night, and lick the road clean with our tongues! We had to eat half a handful of freezing cold gravel, work twenty-four hours a day at mill for four pence every six years, and when we got home, our dad would slice us in two with a breadknife! KIAPieman: Right! I had to get up in the morning, at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of cold contagion, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill and pay millowner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our dad would kill us and dance about on our graves, singing Hallelujah! KIAHicks: Aah. Are you trying to tell the young people of today that, and they won't believe you! ENDQUOTE

I'm sure those names aren't right.